Tips for the Perfect Date

In a grab-and-go society, dining etiquette seems relegated to the china cabinet alongside grandma's antique dishes. It's still around, and highly valued, but you only bring it out on special occasions. When it's time to use it, you're lucky if you can pull all the pieces together for the meal.

After all, you don't need to consider whether it would be indecent to eat an item with your fingers when you're snagging a sandwich at the neighborhood deli or picking up takeout on the way home from work.

As fewer folks find time for family dinners together and consumers choose dining establishments as much for convenience as pleasure, such lessons have become scarce.
Still, at some point, most people will find themselves in a situation where they need to know which fork to use first and how to maneuver a buffet with class.

It's difficult to avoid the occasional business lunch, wedding reception or anniversary dinner at an upscale restaurant. Wouldn't it be great if someone slipped a cheat sheet under the edge of the plate and included some tips for handling those delicate dining situations that surface from time to time? Therefore, here are some guidelines to get through your next formal meal with grace.

The Dos and Don'ts

The place setting

1. Use utensils on the outside of the place setting first, leaving them on your dish as you finish each course. The wait staff should remove the utensil along with that course. Used flatware should never be put back on the tablecloth.
2. Place your napkin on your lap before you begin eating.

Ordering wine

1. Decide what you'll eat for the entree before you decide on a wine. If you want to have a glass right away, choose the house wine. The general rule is that white wine goes well with appetizers or lighter entrees such as fish. Reds pair well with meats.
2. "In general, you want your wine to be close to the taste of your food," said chef Lou Sackett, instructor at the Yorktowne Business Institute's School of Culinary Arts.
3. If in doubt, ask your server for a suggestion. He or she should know the wine list and should be able to recommend a good choice to complement your entree.
4. Choose carefully, as you can only send back a bottle of wine if it is spoiled (corked ). Not liking what you ordered isn't a valid reason to return it.
5. When the bottle arrives, check that it is still sealed and that the label identifies it as what you ordered.
6. Don't serve wine ice cold - you won't be able to appreciate its distinct flavor as well. Also, don't overfill the glasses - leave room to swirl and enjoy the wine.

Restaurant protocol

1. Scope out the menu before you go, if possible. Many restaurants post their menus on the Internet. You don't want to arrive and find out that the style of cooking is not really what you want.
2. Sometimes it's OK to ask for modifications to a meal, but generally, chefs look unfavorably upon diners who request major substitutions.
3. Make a reservation if the restaurant accepts them. This helps the chef and wait staff to gauge how many people will be dining there at a particular time and plan accordingly.
4. Many restaurants expect you to order an appetizer. If you don't, you could be in for more of a wait for the main course because chefs use the time you're eating the appetizer to prepare the entrée.

Table manners

1. Don't slouch against the back of the chair or use your elbows to prop yourself up at the table.
2. Wait for the host or hostess to begin eating before you start. It's usually a good idea to wait until everyone at the table has been served before digging in, although the host or hostess may encourage those who have their food to begin if it is a large group and the food may get cold.
3. Don't slurp your soup.
4. When passing salt, butter or any other requested item, don't pause to use it yourself as you send it on its way. Place it within easy reach of the person next to you rather than passing it along hand to hand.
5. If it's necessary to remove inedible items from your mouth, do so politely with your fork or spoon. If that isn't going to work, surreptitiously spit the offending bone or piece of fat into your napkin.

DID YOU KNOW?

Most people know it's rude to talk with your mouth full and that you should shut off the cell phone while you're at the table. But other dining do's and don'ts aren't so obvious.

1. Bread should be broken, not cut with a knife.
2. The proper way to eat a piece of corn on the cob is across, not around.
3. You should only cut one or two bites of meat or fish at a time, not the entire serving.